I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
