I seem to have left my pride at pride
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
