After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Can Purell be used as lube?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm like, not good at living.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
