Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
