he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
