wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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