I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
