I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
