Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
