Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What a dumb baby whore.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
