so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
