The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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