I think my vagina is haunted
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
