and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
