her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
