if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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