his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
