He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
