so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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