Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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