So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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