Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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