Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
