It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
