my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
