Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
