We named our party play list daddy issues
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
