we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
