just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
