at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
