I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
