We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
