i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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