MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
