We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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