My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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