i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
