Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
