I bet he comes in French.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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