she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
splinters make it hard to masturbate
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
