This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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