Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
