Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
