so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
