I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
