Dual....:-)
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
