it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
