then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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