so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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