I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
